Moved Across The Country (again)

Ok SO it’s sadly been almost 2 months since I posted anything which is sort of unacceptable but I’ve also had a lot going on so giving myself a free pass here. Updates on my end.. two weeks ago my boyfriend and I packed up our life (including my 19 year old cat-wow, will never do this again) and moved from San Diego to Fort Lauderdale for his job. Long story, will save these details for another time if ever. What I really want to focus on was what life looked like pre/during/post move because it was… a lot.

Starting with the pre:

In the weeks leading up to the move, I was all over the map emotion wise. How was I going to survive 4 days trapped in a uhaul? Will I be able to handle leaving my comfort zone and starting over again in a place where I don’t know a soul? How am I going to make friends who will force me out of the house when I need them to? Will my anxiety get worse? Better? What should I expect? I was an overanalyzing/catastrophizing mess. I tried my best to ‘prepare’ (whatever that means) for this transition, had 13.5 breakdowns and switched back and forth CONSTANTLY from panic mode to denial mode. Time moved slow at first, and then extremely fast and before I knew it, my preparation window had closed and it was moving day. Great.

During:

Let’s start with the obvious: Moving cross-country is rough. period. The first day or two it’s somewhat bearable- you’ve got podcasts/audiobooks/sight-seeing to keep you distracted. Come day three, I legit never wanted to see a car again for the rest of my life. I was crawling out of my skin, the cat was screaming, I wasn’t sleeping or eating and could not WAIT to get out of that damn uhaul. On a positive note, I was SO exhausted that I had no energy left to be anxious. It just wasn’t an option which was a new experience all together for me so there’s that. However, as soon as we entered the city and the ‘time left to destination’ on my navigation app started to go down, I could feel my heart racing and my throat closing and I knew I was about to be in for a ride..

Post:

I had a panic attack on day one. Shocking. I was hyping myself up so bad for what to expect that I legit created anxiety that did not need to be there. I was confusing a sense of excitement and anticipation for panic (similar sensations but totally different mindset, obviously) - but alas, it is what it is. After it subsided and I was able to get a clear look at my new home- I was surprised to find I felt incredibly liberated. Instead of feeling anxious about starting over, I felt relieved. I started looking at the move as a new start..a new opportunity to create new routines and habits. To build new relationships with people who did not feel the need to tiptoe around my ‘issue’. This was the LAST thing I expected to feel so early on (like..night one) but the most pleasant surprise. I felt a sense of hope that I hadn’t felt in a long time and I was overcome with gratitude for the experience as a whole, highs and lows.

Takeaways:

All in all, it just kind of solidified the power of the mind. I went into this move with a fear-based mindset- focusing on all of the things that could go wrong. Everything that was about to change, for the worse. I created so much unnecessary anxiety just to arrive and realize I’d feel less anxious than I have in years. Yes, it feels good in the short-term to try and ‘prepare’ for the worst case scenario..but at the end of the day, life is pretty much out of our control. So wouldn’t it make more sense to focus on what could go right instead and spare ourselves from the additional stress? Easier said than done of course but just some food for thought..

If you’ve survived a big move and have any tips/stories, let me know in the comments! I’d love to hear how it played out and how you managed it all (or didn’t) - that’s fine too.