I've Been Avoiding This

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I’ve been avoiding writing the first blog post for about 3.8 weeks now. Honestly probably longer now that I think about it. Partially because I feel extremely overwhelmed when trying to figure out where to start but mostly because I’m scared to put myself out ‘there’. Anxiety has had an affect on every part of my life, at every stage of my life, for as long as I can remember. It’s intensity and hold on me has fluctuated over the years but the one thing that’s been consistent is how little I’ve shared with anyone/thing outside of my cat and diary. I still wouldn’t go as far as to say I’m ‘ready’ or feel totally comfortable sharing my experiences but I do know the longer I keep it a secret the further down the rabbit hole I’m going to fall. I’ve spent about 15+ years avoiding/trying to hide from it and about 2ish years slowly building up the courage to face it head on. I’ve tried pretty much everything under the sun outside of psychedelics (which I’m still on the fence about but I’ll save my research and reservations on it for another post). With that said, I have SOo0o0o many thoughts, experiences, opinions, warnings blah blah to share and figured this was the best way to go about doing it.

My plan is to provide my 2 cents (very valuable, I know) on how it’s affected my life - career, relationships, TRAVEL (even typing that word makes me want to cry), health, confidence - you name it, anxiety has taken a toll on it. I’ll also share a bit about the different therapies/medications and holistic remedies I’ve experimented with in the event anyone on planet earth cares and could use the info.

Anyway- I suppose the point of this post is to

  • get the ball rolling and stop avoiding things that make me feel uncomfortable (like so uncomfortable that I’ll probably check my pulse after I press post just to make sure I’ve survived)

  • more importantly, open up the door for these convos in hopes it will not only be therapeutic for me but potentially resonate with and/or help someone else

I don’t know how this thing is going to play out (if at all) but I do know I will do my very best to consistentlyish contribute and keep this thing as up to date..ish as possible. Ok. I think that’s all I have to say for now- thank you in advance to my mom and the bots that will prob find this page for your support during these early stages. Until next time.