How to Support a Loved One Struggling with Anxiety

Living with anxiety can be incredibly difficult, but having support from loved ones can make all the difference. On the flip side, as someone who still occasionally grapples with anxiety, I also understand how helpless those witnessing us struggling can feel. Without communication and proper guidance from us, they often times resort to the classics…( “just breathe” “you have nothing to be anxious about” “try to relax”…). Statements like this, although well intentioned, can be really triggering and incredibly unhelpful when you are in the thick of it. The problem is, they dont know any better until you educate them on the type of support that would be most beneficial to you in those moments.

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In this blog post, I'll share some insights from my experience on some of the best ways your loved ones can show up for you when you’re battling anxiety.

Here are some examples of ways you can ask for support from a loved one:

1. Listen with Empathy: When anxiety strikes, logic goes out the window. Advice on what to do or why there’s no reason to be anxious go in one ear and out the other. That's why one of the most powerful things you can do is simply listen. Be there with an open heart and ears and just hold space. It’s more often than not something that passes on its own, without outside assistance from those around you. A loved one’s presence is often enough.

2. Validate Their Feelings: Anxiety often comes with a ton of shame and self-doubt. The person struggling knows that what they are experiencing doesn’t always make ‘sense’ and would be easy to invalidate and ignore as an outsider looking in. Reassuring your loved one that what they're feeling is valid and REAL is very healing and helps create a sense of safety.

3. Respect Boundaries: Understand that there may be times when the person struggling with anxiety may need space or has to decline social invitations. It's (typically) never personal; it's about self-care and understanding their personal limits. Respect their boundaries without judgment and allow them the freedom to take time off to decompress alone when needed. The less pressure they feel, the more inclined they are to join in when the anxiety passes. .

4. Educate Yourself: Anxiety isn't just about worrying; it's a complex interplay of thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations. Take the time to educate yourself about anxiety disorders so you can better understand what your loved one is going through. This is a great resource that I’ve shared with many of my loved ones to assist in this - it’s an easy read and covers a wide range of topics.

5. Offer Practical Help: Sometimes, anxiety can make even the simplest tasks feel overwhelming. For those that are in the thick of it and struggling to complete basic day to day things, offer practical help. Some examples include running a quick errand, cooking a meal, or just being there to provide a comforting presence on the days when leaving the house is not an option.

The hope, for both parties, but especially the one struggling is that this experience is temporary. There is no one who wants to get back to a normal, fully functioning, high quality of life more than the person who is dealing with the anxiety. Having support from the people closest to you can make all the difference in both the severity and the duration of how anxiety presents itself overtime. If you dont feel that those around you are equipped with the skills necessary to be that anchor for you, check out the Thanxious Community. It was created solely for this purpose and is free (forever!) to the first few members. You can learn more here.