Weaning Off Sertraline - My Top Takeaways
/I’m noticing I have a habit of going off the grid during times of transformation. It’s been nearly 7 months since I shared my experience about being ON sertraline and now here I am, resurfacing from out of no where to discuss what weaning OFF of it was like.
A bit of context, I never wanted to be on medication in the first place. I understood the pros of it, I am SO grateful I put my ego to the side to give it a shot because it was nothing short of LIFE-CHANGING, but I always knew it was a short-term solution for me. Being on any type of anti-depressant and noticing the shifts in my personality and body was unsettling. I was so thankful to be able to leave my house again and exist out in the world but I felt like a stranger in my own body. Things that normally lit me up flew under the radar. The facial expressions and banter that I never had to think twice about, became more difficult to access. I felt…blah.
Despite these cons, I continued to take it because I was fearful of everything I’d read online about how challenging coming off these types of medications can be. All of the research I was able to find kept mentioning a high relapse rate (of anxiety/panic symtpoms), crazy physical side effects and some psychological effects that freaked me out the most. I spent months looking at the pills wondering if today was going to be the day I would take the plunge. It finally dawned on me that this was the exact same process I went through when I made the decision to finally START taking it and as mentioned before, I had zero regrets. What’s the worst that can happen? If my anxiety comes back with a vengeance, I can always start taking the medication again.
So I went for it. I reached out to my doctor (primary care) first and was emailed over instructions on how to properly wean off of it. (Side note, aside from this one page PDF, I received no additional follow ups, no warnings about how difficult it may or may not be… which is …… um….. mind-blowing? So let me remind you once more to always be your own advocate and get your support system in place prior because you will need it and the health system is … failing us to put it lightly.
Here are a few of my top takeaways:
Be mindful of who you talk to about your decisions: I decided to only tell my husband and my sister about my decision to wean off. I have always been overwhelmed by the 2 cents that were constantly thrown my way by family and friends about why I should or should not do xyz. It’s exhausting. It’s such a personal decision and I didn’t want anyone to sway me one way or the other. I only told 2 people who I knew offered unconditional support (and who would likely notice the side effects, should there be any).
Do not rush the process: My doctor gave me a plan that involved reducing the amount taken and the frequency over the course of 4 weeks. After doing extensive research on my own, I decided to double that and spread it out over 8 weeks. Whether this was overkill or not, I’ll never know. I wasn’t in any rush to flush it out of my system and I wanted to avoid how sick I felt when I first started taking it so this method worked for me. To each their own.
Be prepared for side effects: I was ready and full ‘prepared’ to deal with all 70000 of the scary side effects I found online. I know from personal experience that everyones body experiences different things so if anything, I wanted to offer myself the peace of mind that whatever happened, was probably par for the course. In the end, my side effects were mild (a few twitches, nausea + more irritable, kinda felt like I was PMS’ing nonstop). Now that I’m on the other side of it, a part of me wishes I had started sooner but I believe everything happens in perfect timing.
Old thought patterns will likely resurface: Once I no longer had the security of knowing I was taking a medication that would subdue any panic/anxiety, my old thoughts + fears started to pop up. Before booking an appt, I’d pause a little longer before committing. As I was boarding a plane, I’d feel a rush of adrenaline run through my body and would start to hold my breath. But then…nothing. Nothing would happen. I truly believe being on the mediation allowed my body to build new habits + neural pathways that skipped right over the anxiety. Despite my thoughts wanting to go there, my body had no desire. I was safe and I knew it. I can’t begin to describe how liberating this was.
Set aside time to reflect + thank yourself: It’s easy to jump straight into your new life and forget about everything else. Believe me, I lived this. Your instinct is to start making up for lost time and focus on anything BUT anxiety. But you deserve to recognize the work you’ve done and it’s so much more eyeopening when you take a moment to reflect back on what life was like when you were in the depths of suffering. Reflecting on how much progress was made in such a short amount of time (in the grand scheme of things) makes me want to cry. I was so focused on surviving for so long that I never knew life could feel this effortless. It can be a tough pill to swallow knowing you spent so much of your life in deep, silent suffering, unable to experience life the way so many others do. But remind yourself that for whatever reason, it was necessary to get you to where you are today. Think about how much better you FEEL, how many more experiences you have access to and how all of your hard work payed off in the end. You did this.
In full transparency, I’m only ~4 months out (since I took the final dose) so there’s a chance the hard parts not over. But I know that nothing will be as painful as what life was like prior to starting this journey at all so I’m truly not afraid. I continue to feel nothing but immense gratitude for myself and this life and all I want is for everyone who is experiencing something similar to know this life is available to them, too.
