Alcohol + Anxiety: How Our Relationship With One Affects The Other
/There’s (typically) 1 of 2 ways this goes - avoidance or dependance. I started out in one category, spent the majority of my 20’s in the other and now find myself somewhere in between depending on the occasion. A quick summary of what each one looks like:
Avoidance: For those struggling with emetophobia specifically, this is likely your cup of tea. The common mentality here is that anything that increases the liklihood of making you sick is something to be avoided at all costs. For years when I was growing up and first being introduced to alcohol, I was petrified of it. I was unsure of how much alcohol my body could handle and feared that I would accidentally drink too much and end up sick. I’d spent one too many nights out watching friends secure that fate (and giving me a panic attack in the process) and made sure I did everything possible to avoid it - which often involved staying 100% sober at all times. I was also terrified of of a hangover - I had seen enough scenes on TV and been around friends IRL to know that this often involved feeling/being sick. For many years, alcohol was something I stayed far away from.
Dependence: At some point in my mid 20’s in college, I reached a point where I was tired of the constant peer pressure and FOMO that came with not drinking. Drinking + partying was around me almost 24/7, day and night. As afraid of the consequences as I was, I was also desperate to ‘fit in’ and experience what it was like to be drunk and inhibition-less. I took it slow and experimented with testing my limits - each time, I never got sick. Instead, the opposite ended up happening. My anxiety dissipated (until the next morning lol jokes on me), I felt free, RELAXED and finally able to let my guard down. What started as something I wanted to do to join in on social gatherings turned into a crutch anytime I started to feel anxious (regardless of the time of day or situation)… I’m sure you can see where this is headed…
It took me almost 10 years and many bad decisions to get to the point where I no longer depended on alcohol to cure my anxiety. I look back on some of the things I did/said and situations I put myself in where my safety was definitely on the line and want to scream. There’s also a lot of truth behind alcohol being a gateway ‘drug’. Drinking and nights out slowly morphed into different levels and types of substance abuse that I never would’ve experimented with had I not been drinking as consistently as I was.
With all of that said, I am grateful that I made it to where I am today and realize it was part of my healing journey but I also wish I had gotten the help I needed earlier in life. This is certainly one of the driving forces behind my desire to help those struggling - I not only want people to understand there’s a way out but also help them avoid making some of the mistakes I did when it came to my unhealthy coping mechanisms.
Fast forward to today and I now find myself somewhere in between although the reasoning behind my decisions has drastically shifted.
When I do indulge in alcohol, it’s almost always because I feel like having a drink or two, not because I NEED it. There is some truth, in my opinion, to it helping me enjoy social gatherings but for me, that has more to do with being introverted and less to do with needing to mask anxiety symptoms. I also believe that the all or nothing mentality can be really dangerous for me personally - if I allow myself the option to indulge, I’m less likely to binge or over do it.
When I do avoid it, it’s not out of fear of feeling sick it’s because I’ve realized that it takes a toll on my mental + physical wellbeing for days after which makes it less enjoyable to me. Why would I regularly, willingly put something in my body that I KNOW makes me feel bad for days after? (I’m talking less energy/motivation, brain fog and often times, spikes in anxiety and/or depression). When I come at it from this angle, it becomes a no-brainer.
As mentioned above, I do still allow myself to participate when I feel like it but I do my best to incorporate a few practices/supplements into my routine when I anticipate going out for a ‘big’ one. Obviously these nights aren’t always preplanned and sometimes happen spontaneously but if I do know it’s coming, there are a few things I do to help reduce post-anxiety/feeling like 💩:
I drink more water when I’m out than alcohol. I try my best to keep it to a 2:1 ratio but at the very least 1:1. This helps keep me hydrated and flush out some of the alcohol faster than if I hadn’t had any water at all.
I pace myself. I’m a naturally slow drinker but I’m extra cautious when it comes to alcohol. I want to give my body time to process the… toxins (sad but true)
I avoid shots and sugary drinks. I typically stick to a skinny margarita (tequila is my go-to, this one is my personal fav) or a clean, red wine. I also stick to sipping, not chugging because I’ve learned my lesson here one too many times bye
I take milk thistle - research on whether or not it actually helps with a hangover is up in the air but I personally have noticed it helps. Either way, it’s great for your liver and helps with upset stomaches so a wins a win
I double up on my hydration game. Consider adding these or even sprinkling in some high quality salt (you honestly can’t taste it) to your drinking water - both options are great and help speed up the hangover/reduce it all together
I try to stick (as closely as possible) to my normal routine the next day. The longer I stay in bed the following day after a night out, the more my mental health suffers. Regardless of how tired I am, I force myself to go for a short walk, stretch or if I’m really feeling it, just enjoy my coffee on the balcony. Movement + sun + fresh air is sooooo vital to mental health
Eat before drinking (goldfish or cheese and crackers doesn’t count, including this as a personal reminder)
And that’s it. The whole point of being human is to enjoy your life. Whether that includes having a few drinks or avoiding it all together, it really doesn’t matter. What matters is the rational behind your decisions - you don’t want to base any of your choices on fear of xyz but rather because you feel that decision aligns with the ideal version of yourself. The sooner you start shifting your perception and working through the fear blocks, the sooner you can truly enjoy your choices and not be left filled with guilt or resentment. 🫶🏻
